Don’t you love hearing your recorded voice? Yikes. Science has an explanation, I’m sure, for why the voice we hear in our head doesn’t match what greets the rest of the world. The fact remains, whatever it is we think we sound like to others is wrong. Telling people “that’s not how I sound!” is ridiculous.
The same can be said when it comes to self-evaluation of how we come off to others. We have our own biases and filters that don’t allow us to know for sure how we are received without actually asking. When people give us feedback that clashes with what we believe to be true, it is easy to discount that as nonsense. That person doesn’t understand, doesn’t like me, is overly sensitive, doesn’t appreciate the same things or has unkind motives for being critical. There may be some of that in the mix. What if there isn’t though? Consider the possibility the feedback is sincere and what it is about your message and delivery that could be contributing to that opinion.
I personally feel those who give us honest insight to how we sound ‘to them’ are giving us a gift. They can’t speak for how the rest of the world hears us, but they can offer us nuggets to digest so we can decide if adjustments are necessary on our end. Contrary to what the “it’s not my problem what other people think of me” crowd believes, the successes and failures we experience in life can often be tied to our ability to communicate effectively. Insisting you sound the way your head tells you you do, without taking stock of what others are saying, isn’t a good strategy.
If you think I’m posting this because Recruiting Animal pointed out to me, for the second time I might add, that my message tends to get lost in my wordiness…busted. I may be wordy in the future. It is my habit style. At least I’ll have this feedback in my mind to consider. From Animal’s feedback, I’ve noticed something. The blogs I get wordy on are the ones I’ve gone back and forth over for days. Animal doesn’t know this. How could he? But his feedback will help me be more aware moving forward of when I might be more vulnerable to word overkill.
The other day I was listening to a program on networking strategies for job seekers. Some things were mentioned that gave me the squirms. Not because I disagreed with the message those giving the advice were attempting to convey, but because I’m well aware many people on the receiving end of advice take it as an absolute, as true in all situations. It’s rarely that simple. How right a particular bit of advice is for a situation depends on the circumstances. Most times the giver of advice has an image in their mind they are speaking to where what they are recommending makes perfect sense. What we as experts fail to do is make sure those on the receiving end of what we say fully understand the why’s behind the advice so they know when and how it applies to them.
Back to the networking program, one of the topics that came up was networking with other job seekers. The advice given was that those on the hunt for employment need to network in places where there aren’t other job seekers. I agree that needs to be part of the strategy. Being able to rub elbows with decision makers without having swarms of job seekers around allows you to stand out and reduces the competition for that person’s connections and opportunities. Anyone taking that advice, as it appeared some did through their comments, to mean other job seekers are to be avoided or aren’t good networking partners is off the mark.
I’m sure those giving the advice are well aware of the wealth of information that can be gained from fellow job seekers when those interactions are handled strategically. The point was to encourage people to increase their odds of being noticed and to shake them out of the belief participating in support groups for job seekers, where people simply share their heartache and frustrations week after week, is enough to get the job done in a search. That serves a purpose, but it usually doesn’t translate to job offers. Nor does lining up with the masses to meet with a decision maker at a job fair.
There is nothing inherently wrong with networking with job seekers, however. It’s all about the balance and strategy with doing so. Recruiters love to network with those looking for work because they are in the loop of which companies are hiring. Contrary to a casual mention in the discussion I followed, recruiters don’t just network with you so they can find out where you’ve applied and go after the same job. Make no mistake that happens and fellow job seekers may do the same thing. Think bigger picture though. Many job seekers become aware of several jobs in a weeks time. Add up the number of openings they know about over the course of weeks and months. Consider they are also out networking and picking up new contacts regularly who may benefit others. Perhaps they belong to professional associations that broadcast a variety of openings to their membership. There is a lot of intelligence there to be shared. With a conscious effort to truly network, job seekers can do quite well working with one another.
My intent isn’t to sell you on networking with other job seekers. I could go on for miles about that concept. I simply want to challenge you to dig into the advice you receive and ask yourself three things. What advantage is the giver attempting to create for you? What are they hoping to save you from? What is their point of reference? If you can identify the answers to these questions, you can decide how to make the advice work in your situation. It’s rarely the bit we tend to take as an absolute that helps us, but the logic behind what created the recommendation. Tap into that logic and put it to work in your effort to make good strategic decisions.
I’ll close with an example of advice frequently taken as an absolute many here can relate to. Remember “resumes shouldn’t be more than one page?” The logic behind the advice is sound. Job seekers should streamline their resumes so they are targeted with relevant information that makes an adequate case an interview is warranted. Many resumes flow to two pages or more because they are crammed full of irrelevant blah, blah, blah. What happened with that advice is logic went out the window. I’ve met many candidates with one page resumes who simply didn’t have enough of their relevant experience, affiliations and credentials on the page to get the interview. What’s worse is several knew their resumes were too light, but they were afraid going over one page was a greater sin than not having enough information. Tragic.
Are you ready for this? Long job searches laced with failures can make you more marketable. Yep, you read that right. You can actually be a greater benefit to a company because you were not able to obtain employment immediately after you lost your job. The key is recognizing why this is the case and effectively selling the concept to hiring managers.
To make the case, you must focus on all you’ve gained from the experience.
- What companies/contacts/groups do you now have relationships with as a result of your search that you wouldn’t have otherwise? How could they benefit a potential employer?
- What skills did you have the time to add to your inventory to make you more marketable? How did the process of learning those skills sharpen your ability to learn new things in your next job faster? Are you more prepared to add innovation? How can the companies needing what you did in your last job gain even more from you knowing what they may need to migrate to next?
- How is your ability to keep going after rejection, with your mind focused on the goal, an asset to an employer? What about all you learned in the arena of overcoming obstacles, brainstorming new solutions and reinventing yourself for the sake of staying relevant?
As crazy as it sounds, most job seekers I’ve had the privilege to know along the way have GROWN from their job searches. They’ve discovered strengths and abilities they didn’t know they had. They reached beyond their comfort zone. That growth is a big deal and has value. Don’t be shy about pointing that out.
If I were to guess, I’d say 95% of all job seekers make the same mistake. They fail to circle back to companies after being told they aren’t a fit or that there aren’t any current openings matching their background. They take that verdict to mean “not ever” when it likely means “not now.” With many job searches lasting 6, 9 and 12 months or more, it’s a tactical error. So much can happen to a company over that amount of time. When you consider many job seekers start by approaching companies at the top of their list to work for, it’s important to avoid ruling a company out for eternity because you tried approaching them in the past and nothing came of the effort. Your top contenders are likely the companies most in line with your skill set, goals and lifestyle. It’s worth it to stay close to them through the duration of your search. The passing of time may very well lead to opportunity.
Let me be clear, assuming a company will think of you in the future because of your initial efforts with them is a mistake. I’ve had plenty of people tell me companies have their resume and application so they need not bother anyone. It’s the “if they want me, they’ll call me” approach. I’m not recommending anyone be a bother; there are effective ways to stay close to a company without annoying contacts. What I am saying is companies are more likely to look at those on their immediate radar when they have an opening to fill. Why go back 6 months or more to see who was interested before? It’s more convenient to start with those currently raising their hands than to dig back through history to find out if any of those individuals are still looking for work. Additionally, it casts doubt on how genuine your interest in the company is if after hearing “not now” you are never heard from again.
My challenge to you is to reach out to the companies you contacted at the beginning of your search. Compare notes on what’s changed with the both of you. If you have new skills or a different perspective than before, make it known. Take the temperature of what’s going on in their organization for clues if opportunity may be on the horizon. Restate your interest.
Those with job searches spilling into months and years need to guard against the tendency to invite rejection. Sounds nuts, but trust me it happens. It’s an easy habit to start offering up to employers and networking contacts all of the reasons you aren’t a fit for something. I’ve met many candidates who have endured rejection to the point they’ve taken to telling me ahead of time all of their potential short comings. They aren’t aware of what they are saying to me. When I point it out, there is usually a moment of “I do that?”
I’m no psychologist, but I suspect it stems from a need to have some control over the process. Candidates become resigned to the inevitability of rejection over time. It’s easier on the ego to get rejected after acknowledging your faults than to be rejected after making the case you are exactly what a company needs.
Pay attention to the conversations you have with others regarding your job search and note if you hear yourself saying anything along the lines of why you aren’t a fit, are at a disadvantage, are lacking in some area, don’t fit what employers currently want, etc. You’ll notice it when making a conscious effort to do so. It will shock you at first, but use your new found awareness to re-energize your search. Clip this kind of fault magnifying language out of your efforts. Gain control in your search through more effective means, such as targeted networking, strategic prospecting and skills enhancement in areas of recognized weakness.
My friends know I hate Febreze. Why? Because the minute I smell it I know there is something lurking underneath that scent no one wants me to know about. You might as well hang a sign warning me as your guest something in your house is a bio-hazard. Unlike the actors in the commercial, I don’t inhale deeply and smile. To the contrary, I limit the breaths I take, all systems go on alert and I attempt to identify the problem so I can decide how much distance I need to keep. In the times when no obvious problem could be identified, I was left to wonder if the the homeowner simply preferred the couch smelling like spring on steroids.
Job seekers need to be careful about the Febreze effect. I’m not just talking about those who literally spray themselves with the stuff. Oh yeah, there are some. I’m referring to those who get so fancy with their presentation, wording and explanations the hiring manager is left to wonder if they are being distracted from problems. Of course job seekers want to draw attention to their relevant skills and bragging points in a professional and memorable way. Hiring managers understand this and expect candidates to make a targeted case for why they are a fit for an opening. There’s a difference between laying out one’s information in a targeted way and speaking in vague terms, leaving dates entirely out of the picture and giving disjointed explanations for confusing gaps.
When I encounter candidates who give me the Febreze feeling, it’s usually one of two things going on. One, they’ve been hit with William Shakespeare syndrome, where every wordeth they writeth is completely unnatural to them. Two, they really are hiding what they view to be problems and are hoping no one notices. For the Shakespeare folks, they simply need to find their normal voice and tone the dramatics down a bit. Those with past problems need to face the music. There comes a time when the best course of action is to clean up versus cover up a problem. Few people, guests or potential employers, appreciate being intentionally left out of the loop of problems that may have an adverse effect on them. For me, I’d much rather know what I’m dealing with and be part of a plan to improve the situation in the future.
Job seekers know they may only get one shot at impressing a decision maker. The pressure is intense to make a strong and favorable showing with whatever tool is used at that moment, be it resume, cover letter, networking conversation or interview. Unfortunately, this knowledge has a way of cementing that fact for many. What do I mean? The “this is my one chance” mindset can inspire candidates to attempt to tell a prospective employer everything about them, from birth to present, in that one moment. There is a need to cover every possible tidbit for fear of leaving something crucial out.
Information overload rarely helps job seekers. Yes, you’ve covered every possible angle, but you’ve done so without focus. This lack of focus dilutes the potency of relevant qualifications and leaves the decision maker to wonder if you’d approach work in the same chaotic fashion. You’ve also negated the need for future interaction. What more is there to discover about you? By laying out every detail of your professional existence, you’ve provided a means for companies to reject you in one encounter. It’s safe on their part to assume, with all of that information, if you had what they wanted you’d of make it known.
My advice to job seekers is to take a deep breath. Instead of focusing on how to make the most of your one shot, turn your attention to creating an interest in multiple conversations. The goal should not be to get an offer from one letter, resume or conversation. It’s about making the case with relevant areas of your background that you are worth a closer look. Hint to the additional elements of your background you can cover in greater detail down the line. Get them interested and wanting more. Ask questions and research the company to the point you aren’t having to throw a bunch of random information their way while crossing your fingers something interests them.
Have you ever been in the position of having what you felt to be a great conversation with a decision maker only to never hear from that person again? It’s incredibly frustrating to go from the high of assumed success to the low of begging for some nugget of follow-up, knowing as the days pass by rejection is on the horizon.
Why does this happen? Chances are the criteria the person used to dub a conversation a success was off the mark. Many times job seekers believe long interviews and discussions with lots of friendly banter equal a slam dunk. Frequently, that’s not the case. Was the interview long because it lacked focus? Was the interview laced with personal stories and chit chat because the professional side of the candidate wasn’t interesting? Bottom line, interviews are mini business meetings and it is crucial for job seekers to not lose sight of that. When evaluating interviews, a great conversation with a decision maker means you swapped essential information about what each of you bring to the table, found synergy with those offerings, achieved an effective rapport, outlined a plan for where to go next and accomplished all of that in an efficient manner. Those components need to be there before doing the “that went great!” happy dance.
To be candid, there have been several people through the years I’ve had long friendly conversations with and it didn’t amount to a hill of beans. In fact, there were times when I’ve avoided some of those individuals because I didn’t have time to get sucked into a long discussion that, though fun and friendly, left me even further behind with my work.
I suppose the most basic point I can make is to call a conversation great when you know you’ve got a decision maker needing you in addition to liking you. Either one by itself simply isn’t enough.
“You do what you have to do.” What that simple sentence means to you could play a substantial role in the outcome of your job search. Is it a statement of conviction or the caboose on some excuse for settling?
The job seeker poised to win pairs that sentence with commitments to network, learn new skills, take risks and push himself to stay in the game of hunting for opportunities. The job seeker poised to fail pairs that sentence with utterances about taking a job they know they’ll hate when they haven’t even made a true effort to run a proactive search.
It crushes me to realize people have an easier time embracing what they need to do when it comes to taking a step backward. Doesn’t it make more sense to do what you have to do to win first? There are times when you have to make compromises, when you have to settle. Doing so before taking a stab at capturing your true dreams and goals is denying yourself the chance to succeed. You can’t blame that on the economy.
Placing the blame of poor results in a job search on others or on events is ineffective. When job seekers tell me they can’t find a job because of the economy or because companies aren’t handling their openings well, I know they are missing the boat on a key bit of strategy.
The most successful job seekers hold themselves entirely responsible for the outcome of their efforts. By assuming they are to blame for not finding opportunities or a company’s lack of response, they immediately put themselves in solutions mode. This isn’t about beating yourself up and assuming an “I’m a loser…it’s all my fault,” mindset. To the contrary. It’s about having the confidence to take an honest look at what you could be doing better every step of the way.
Is the job seeker solely at fault? No. Many of the other contributors are out of the job seeker’s control, however. It’s easier to craft solutions around the elements you can control. Put your focus there. Since the job seeker can’t control the economy, there is no benefit in assigning it blame for his predicament other than to use the economy as an excuse to accept failure. A job seeker can control how he deals with the economy. He can challenge himself to identify what industries/professions are more likely to benefit from the skills he has to bring to the table. He can step away from the job boards, table fear and circulate in the business community where he is more likely to pick up on hidden opportunity.
The job seeker brave enough to ask himself, “How this could be MY fault?,” and act on the possibilities he comes up with will do better. He’ll feel more empowered. He’ll be less likely to repeat mistakes over the span of months. He’ll also be more interesting to be around. No one really enjoys being around a complainer bent on telling the world how impossible his situation is and who or what is to blame. Yawn! Very tiring.
