Don’t you love hearing your recorded voice? Yikes. Science has an explanation, I’m sure, for why the voice we hear in our head doesn’t match what greets the rest of the world. The fact remains, whatever it is we think we sound like to others is wrong. Telling people “that’s not how I sound!” is ridiculous.

The same can be said when it comes to self-evaluation of how we come off to others. We have our own biases and filters that don’t allow us to know for sure how we are received without actually asking. When people give us feedback that clashes with what we believe to be true, it is easy to discount that as nonsense. That person doesn’t understand, doesn’t like me, is overly sensitive, doesn’t appreciate the same things or has unkind motives for being critical.  There may be some of that in the mix. What if there isn’t though? Consider the possibility the feedback is sincere and what it is about your message and delivery that could be contributing to that opinion.

I personally feel those who give us honest insight to how we sound ‘to them’ are giving us a gift. They can’t speak for how the rest of the world hears us, but they can offer us nuggets to digest so we can decide if adjustments are necessary on our end. Contrary to what the “it’s not my problem what other people think of me” crowd believes, the successes and failures we experience in life can often be tied to our ability to communicate effectively. Insisting you sound the way your head tells you you do, without taking stock of what others are saying, isn’t a good strategy.

If you think I’m posting this because Recruiting Animal pointed out to me, for the second time I might add, that my message tends to get lost in my wordiness…busted. I may be wordy in the future. It is my habit style. At least I’ll have this feedback in my mind to consider. From Animal’s feedback, I’ve noticed something. The blogs I get wordy on are the ones I’ve gone back and forth over for days. Animal doesn’t  know this. How could he? But his feedback will help me be more aware moving forward of when I might be more vulnerable to word overkill.

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