Anyone else listen to Car Talk on NPR? I’m a huge fan. I don’t have a nickel’s worth of interest in how to fix an engine or what indicates this belt or that fluid may need to be replaced. That said, I can’t seem to turn the dial when I stumble upon Tom and Ray’s radio show. The subject matter isn’t a bell ringer for me, but the way the hosts engage the callers, share their knowledge in unpredictable ways, incorporate humor into the seemingly humorless and manage to make the audience, doing who knows what/who knows where, want to hear all they have to say on a subject they may care nothing about is amazing. To top that off, for someone who believes she doesn’t care a lick about car mechanics, over time I’ve come to learn a reasonable amount about the goings on under the hood. My mind was distracted enough by the appealing delivery to soak up the information freely, versus shutting out what I may have normally judged as boring, irrelevant to me or over my head.

Imagine, job seekers, the power you would have in your search efforts if you had masses of people drawn to you, wanting to hear you out, wanting to be a part of your efforts no matter their interest in your actual profession, subconsciously soaking up your information so they might apply it to the circumstances they encounter when you aren’t around.

What does it take to attract people the way Tom and Ray do? A big chunk of it is natural talent. I’m not going to minimize their success by painting their accomplishments as easy to replicate. I will say there are a few things about those two you will notice when you take time to listen.

• They always engage the person they are talking with before showering them with knowledge.
• They speak in terms that are easy to relate to. They recognize credibility doesn’t come from speaking over the heads of others, but from teaching a person new things on their level.
• They care about how interesting they are to others, not just about how interesting they are to themselves.
• They aren’t overly serious. They take what they do seriously and they are seriously good at what they do, but they don’t showcase either with a serious disposition.
• They surprise you. The predictable is woven in with the unexpected.
• They show their personalities in a genuine way.

All of the above are elements I try to incorporate into my interactions with others. It’s been a work in progress for me to get to a point where I’m more aware of the person on the other side of my words than I am of myself. Those who know me in real life will tell you I’m a talker and, though I’m conservative, I’m far from bashful. It would be easy for me to take over conversations and drown those around me in my knowledge of subjects without concern for how interesting I am, what others really want to hear about and what may be going on in the lives of those I’m slathering with my bountiful morsels of information. Because I know this about myself, and because I appreciate the style of Ray and Tom, it’s easier for me now to find my pause button in conversations. I’m more focused on finding ways to achieve an entertaining and meaningful discussion versus an intelligent lecture. I hope Tom and Ray would be proud.

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Job seekers spend too much time complaining about the things that slow hiring processes down and not enough time focusing on what speeds them up. Sure, companies may have internal limitations applying the brakes at times, but what motivates decision makers to conquer those limitations sooner than later? I’ll tell you what doesn’t, a candidate who appears to have no other options and who is likely to languish for as long as it takes them to get their ducks in a row.

It comes down to demand. Employers are just like the rest of us when it comes to shopping. They make quicker decisions when they have the sense taking too long will cause them to miss out on something special. Think of the Black Friday sales after Thanksgiving. Ever watch buyers shoving expensive merchandise in their carts without much scrutiny? Do you think they’d move as quickly if there weren’t 400 hundred fellow shoppers waving credit cards and elbowing the less fit out of the way? Probably not. If they had all the time in the world and the price would likely go down the longer they waited, what reason would there be to rush? Unless there was a strong, immediate need for the item, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to put off making the purchase and, perhaps, explore what other options might be available.

So, job seekers must do what they can to give employers the sense they aren’t the only one in the store. How do you do that? It starts with the tone set at the very beginning. Ideally, you’ve networked yourself to a position and created a nice buzz around you that reached the employer’s desk ahead of your resume. It’s a safe assumption if your buzz reached them, it’s reaching other decision makers too.

Buzz aside, how you handle the “we’d like to schedule a time for you to interview” call can make a big difference. I cringe every time a job seeker tells me, “pick a time that works for you…my schedule is wide open.” It’s great to be accommodating, but having a wide open schedule screams, “take your time…nobody wants me!” When a potential employer asks what days and times would work for interviews for you, give them options, noting times your schedule is full. Leave them wondering with what. For example, “Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday morning work well. The afternoons, as well as Thursday, are full. I may be able to move some meetings and appointments around to suit your schedule, however.” It’s subtle, but changing how you deal with setting an interview time can make a big difference. Now, if your schedule really is wide open, that’s another problem for you to fix. Fill it with something. Whether it’s networking, trainings, seminars, informational interviews or volunteer work doesn’t matter. Doing nothing will get you nothing.

Another way to create a sense of demand around you is to insert discreet references to other opportunities through the course of the interview. One example, “Companies I’m meeting with are talking a lot about how they want to incorporate social media into their business model. If that’s true for you, I can share what I’ve learned of the various social media applications in past positions and through my job search.” Another example, “Technology upgrades seem to be on the agenda of many I’m meeting with. If it would benefit you, I’d be happy to share my experience with software conversions.” These types of references allow you to highlight marketable skills while also hinting the employer is hardly your only option.

At the end of the interview, after you’ve had your chance to ask strategic questions, I personally think it’s wise to close with a solid statement of interest in the position that also reinforces potential competition for what you have to offer. “Thank you for the time you gave today. After taking in all of the information, your position is definitely in the top 3 of what I’m currently considering. What potentially makes this my top choice is (insert). My interest in the job is high and I’d enjoy the opportunity to continue in the process.” It doesn’t matter to me if the other two opportunities you are considering at the moment are mopping bathroom floors and weeding flower beds. The point is, the job you are considering at that moment is at or near the top of your list and it’s a good move, in my opinion, to make that known in a way that doesn’t sound like that employer is winning by default.

Do what you can to give employers the sense you are in demand. It really can speed things up. I once had a job seeker push back with, “maybe the company won’t think I need their job as bad as someone else does if I have other options.” Not true. You want to know which candidates I’ve found to get the fastest offers? Those who already have offers from other companies and are giving their top choice a chance to throw an offer in the hat as well. It’s my personal experience, especially when we are talking jobs that pay more than minimum wage, companies rarely hire based on the job seeker’s needs. I might take on someone to clean my house based on his need of a job, but I’m not going to make a decision involving a $50,000 salary commitment that way.

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Pretend you are in a city you’ve never been to before and you are hungry. You need to find a way to eat that isn’t too expensive. You’ve got $20 in your pocket to work with. On top of that, you are strict vegetarian. Along comes someone who seems to know the area. He’s confident, waves to those he passes in a knowing way and is sure of his surroundings. Seems like a logical person to approach for advice.

When approaching this person who is likely to have some helpful knowledge, what do you say? Let’s imagine some options.

You: Excuse me sir, I’m hungry and would like a tofu & veggie pasta salad, extra spicy, if you will. Bland food bores me. I need flavor. Perhaps a melon salad on the side. The last time I had a pasta salad it wasn’t quite enough. It left me wanting a bit more, so you can see a melon salad is in order. Yes, that sounds perfect. Some green iced tea would go nicely as a beverage. Do you happen to have any of that on you? I can give you $20.

Him: Sorry, I can’t help you. I’m not a restaurant. Now, if you’ll excuse me…

Gee, that didn’t go well at all. You were very specific with what you wanted and what you had to give in return. You made a common mistake, however, of approaching him as a solution to your problems versus as a bridge to your solution. That information simply wasn’t appropriate for what you needed from him. As a result, you gained nothing and irritated someone who may have been a great resource in the process. Shall we try again?

You: Excuse me sir, can you direct me to a nearby restaurant?

Him: Absolutely! Bob’s Rib Shack is 3 blocks down on your right.

Well, his recommendation was somewhat helpful. It’s a restaurant. A rib shack isn’t the most promising place to encounter vegetarian options. You didn’t bog him down with unnecessary information, but you may not have given him enough specifics to truly help you. Let’s try again.

You: Excuse me sir, I’m a vegetarian looking for a good place to have dinner. Are you aware of any places I might want to check out?

Him: Absolutely! Gwenyth Paltrow just opened a divine Vegan Bistro 3 blocks down on your right.

Okay, so he’s at least pointed you towards a restaurant likely to have food options you can eat. Your limited funds might be a problem. A bistro opened by a celebrity hardly screams affordable. We’re getting closer. How about another go?

You: Excuse me sir, I’m a vegetarian with $20 in my pocket looking for a good place to have dinner. Are you aware of any places I might want to check out?

Him: Absolutely! Mama Bear’s is 3 blocks down on your right. They’ve got several vegetarian options at reasonable prices.

Success! You finally provided enough information, without going overboard, for him to help you. You were specific without boxing yourself into a corner.

Okay, you can stop pretending now. The above reminds me a lot of what job seekers tend to do when networking. Then they lament over how networking doesn’t do the trick for them. Look at the approaches that failed or were less than successful. The first example is what I see most often. They make a good case of what they are looking for in a job and what they have to offer, but they do it as if that contact is the one with the potential to hire them. More often than not that person is going to be a bridge to someone else who may be hiring. Change the message. Change the approach.

Those who realize the person they are networking with may not be their direct solution do much better. The problem is, many are often too vague to get good results. The reasoning I hear most often is that people want to be flexible and not introduce limitations into the networking process. They are missing the boat. If there genuinely are limitations in what you can consider, what you qualify to do, then it is silly not to make them known. What is the harm in missing out on  hearing about things that aren’t in any way a fit?

I hope this little exercise helps you think about how you approach people for help with your search. What are you saying to those who seem to know the lay of the land better than you? What questions are you asking?

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Some of you may have caught David’s comment on my last blog. He shared a story of stopping by a company he’d been pursuing with the intention of connecting with the manager. Luck was on his side. David introduced himself, let the manager know he’d submitted a resume to corporate for an open position and was hoping to meet a live person so the company would be aware of his interest and background. The manager invited him into his office for a chat. Great news! The only snag was David never expected a successful outcome and found himself unprepared for the exchange. He did well enough. The manager picked up the phone and encouraged the human resources contact to call David for an interview. Big thumbs up there. Even though David never expected to actually connect with a decision maker, he managed to pull of a successful outcome. It was more luck than design that got him through this time.

David’s experience isn’t uncommon. Many job seekers become so familiar with failure they come to expect the outcome of their efforts will be negative. When they get a person versus a voice mail or an invitation to sit down in an office versus a nudge to the door, they freeze up. Their minds turn to mush.

It’s crucial every time a job seeker contacts a company the the desired outcome is anticipated. The benefits are two-fold. For one, the individual is prepared to sell himself adequately and make a strong impression. Secondly, going into a situation with the belief success is likely increases the odds of that being true. It’s amazing how much expecting failure can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s human nature people are more likely to do things half monkey if, in their minds, they view the act to be pointless. I guarantee the voice mail you leave when you expect a return call is different than the one you leave when you expect the brush off. The words may be the same, but the tone and pace suffer.

Special thanks to David for sharing his story. Hopefully we all can learn from his experience and remind ourselves to be ready for success.

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When your interview is over the interviewer should be thinking “what a great meeting,” not “what a great show.” Great shows don’t get you job offers. You may say and do the right things, but if a standing ovation is more appropriate than an ethusiastic handshake, you aren’t getting the job.

Sincerity and a genuine assessment of ‘you’ are important to employers. Just like you as a consumer don’t want a salesperson pulling one over on you, employers don’t want any post offer surprises either. Think of the salesmen you bought from and those who sent you running for the door. In which of the two categories would you put the salesmen with canned responses, over the top promises and aversions to acknowledging any possible downside of what they have to sell? For me, they fall squarely in the “run away from” category.

Skip the over-rehearsed answers. Drop the trumped up passions you really couldn’t care less about. Spend more time getting in touch with what you have to offer, what truly matters to you, what likely matters to the other party and the opportunity at hand. Figure out how they all compliment one another and build a genuine case from there. Entertain and engage your audience without stepping into a fictional character. We really can tell when it’s acting.

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My heart is in my stomach. Reading through some articles on the unemployed, there are regular mentions of those seeking to make ends meet turning to the likes of medical study programs and blood product donation to earn money. They are selling platelets and participating in clinical studies and health trials in order to feed their families. Though I love science and appreciate the value of having increased involvement in these types of things, it’s hard to be excited when that involvement is coming from desperation.

Don’t get me wrong. If I was in the position of needing to provide for my family and not being able to find a job to do so, I’d turn to that option in a heartbeat. I’d be glad the option was there. I’m not condemning the medical community. Thank goodness this net is there for some.  It’s very telling of where we are at right now, however.

Why am I writing this? I guess it’s just one more piece of information to try to dilute the belief by some that all unemployed persons are unmotivated and not willing to do what it takes to get a job. It’s a generalization I hear all too often. Think about it. Most of us, unless moved to do so by our own personal experiences, would not go the route of selling blood products and participating in health trials. These are desperate people willing to look at any and all options to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads.

From what I’ve seen, participating in studies pays less collectively than the lower wage jobs many employed persons keep demanding unemployed professionals take. The income is sporadic. What does that tell you? The lower paying jobs society keeps suggesting the unemployed find to be below them simply aren’t there for the taking. Either that or they are there and the companies aren’t interested in hiring an Engineer to work the drive-thru window. Gee, I wonder why?

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Friends and family are often dumbfounded I don’t have band-aids in my house. With a 2 and 4 year old, you’d think I’d have a healthy supply. It’s not that my kids are aces at self-preservation. They scrape their knees and cut fingers like the best of them. They just don’t get a band-aid when it happens. We treat the wound, allow time for nature to do her thing and then move on.

So what’s my issue with band-aids? I hate the obsession some kids develop over band-aids. I’ve seen it many times. Well, it’s not just band-aid obsession. It morphs into wound obsession. “See this band-aid? This is the papercut I got while working on my crafts. And this band-aid is from falling down on the driveway. This one here is where Tommy whacked me with his truck. The one on my shoulder is from a bug biting me.” They are an adhesive patchwork quilt of misfortune.

Early on I made a promise to myself to do what I could to steer my kids away from focusing on the injuries and hurts in life.  I wanted them to acknowledge their pain, but move on to more positive experiences. I wanted to minimize reminders of what didn’t go so well. As a result, my kids are much more likely to reminisce about the leaps they took than the falls they experienced. They have yet to consider taking inventory of bruises, bumps and scrapes. We do count freckles. That’s just fun though.

I have to be honest and say some job seekers I meet are sporting too many band-aids. They’ve surrounded themselves with constant mental and physical reminders of frustrations and upsets. With a long list of professional and personal wounds, they are quick to make those wounds the focus of conversations with people. Rehashing all that hasn’t gone well, all of the times they’ve fallen or been pushed to the ground, is the order of the day. “This person was unfair…this person didn’t give me a chance…this person was rude…this person never called me back…this person didn’t like me.” What is this rehashing doing for them? Nothing. To an extent it might garner some sympathy, but it’s more often the person is viewed as a liability to be around. When someone appears to be easily hurt and slow to heal, who wants to risk being the next person to injure them? Not me. Not an employer. Not a networking contact.

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Ready for an earth shattering discovery I’ve made? It struck me last night that the people I know who tend to struggle the most are those who seem to guess the most. Think about it.

Who does better in school, those who study and are prepared to answer the questions, or those who are picking ‘c’ because they’ve used ‘a’ and ‘b’ a lot already?

Who gets to an unfamiliar destination faster, those who use a map with a clear route or those who have a general idea of where they’re going and wing it?

Who does better investing in the stock market, those who research companies and business trends and pick stocks accordingly or those who pick stocks based on how good the company name sounds?

Who does better picking their NCAA Tournament bracket, those who follow the teams and painstakingly work through each pairing or those who sit down and whip out their choices based on who-knows-what in a matter of minutes? Never mind. Bad example.

The point I’m taking forever to get to today is that I can clearly see a difference in the outcome in a variety of situations for those who rely less on guessing. The same is true for job seekers. There are some who build obstacles into their searches by the number of guesses they count as valuable information. They guess on what companies want, why they weren’t chosen, what their own worth is, what jobs are out there, who is getting the jobs, etc. Guesses are necessary at times, but they shouldn’t dominate a person’s search.

When I think about it, the people I know who secured employment the fastest had the least amount of guess work involved in what they were doing. They were well informed and were great at recognizing when they were basing an opinion on a guess or on fact. From my personal observations, habitual guessers sometimes lose the ability to even notice when they are filling in the blanks with their imagination. Their own assumptions become reality. More often than not, the guesses inspire inaction versus action. They support the argument things are hopeless; that the odds are against the person.

Stop guessing, folks. From where I sit guessing does little good. Challenge yourself at every step of your search to take an honest assessment of what you know and what you are guessing about. Ask questions. Do some research. Go for the real answers.

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There’s nothing like being unemployed to sharpen one’s ability to notice incompetence in others. Many of the professional level job seekers I work with find it difficult to accept how they can’t find work when they encounter rude, unprofessional, unorganized and poorly skilled individuals on a regular basis who are gainfully employed. Many times they are running into these people on the other side of the interview desk. The sting of being rejected by a person, who for all intents and purposes is in a job they’d be better able to do, is lasting.

I think it’s reasonable for unemployed persons to wonder why some who seem to have less to offer are better off than they are professionally. My advice is to analyze this bit of mystery in a constructive way. Are these individuals better connected? More affordable? Business owners themselves? Luckier? What makes their situation different? Don’t get mad and focus on how unfair life seems to be. The truth of the matter is life simply has a different definition of fair than our own at times.

When armed with a better idea of how others have secured or retained employment, better strategy can be incorporated into a job search. Don’t rule out making a play for that person’s job. Sounds cold, but this is about business. If you notice someone isn’t up to par for the job they hold, it’s not unlikely their supervisor feels the same way. Instead of walking away from a situation thinking I’d never do business with or work for a company who would hire that person, consider encountering that person as an arrow pointing to opportunity. Network your way to the higher-ups in the organization. Without mentioning the other individual, show them the professionalism, skill, positive attitude and organization you have to offer their company should a position happen to come available. If they are smart, they will recognize an opportunity to make a change for the better. If they aren’t smart, well, then it probably is a good idea to write them off and move on.

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If your job search was a sporting event how would the fans in the stands react to your efforts? Would they been cheering, offering up celebratory hand slaps and looking on with satisfied grins? Or, would they be covering their eyes, praying for time to finally run out and contemplating leaving early to spare themselves the agony of watching the inevitable play out?

We’ve seen some exciting stuff this past week in the world of sports. Between the World Cup and that never ending Wimbledon match, there were plenty of shining examples of tenacity, endurance, skill, talent and courage. Seeing all of that come together drives fans wild. We love to cheer for those giving their all; refusing to give up. To be able to witness individuals digging deep and pushing through obstacles to accomplish a goal is inspiring.

The fans in your life would love to witness the same thing in your job search. It’s hard to sit on the sidelines while your favorite player struggles to stay in the game. When he decides it’s impossible and checks out mentally, it’s devastating. Fans can’t do much about it, either. They can help encourage him and shout out strategy, but they can’t play the game for him.

What the job seeker needs to keep in mind is by doing the things that pump up his fans, he is adding new fans along the way and putting himself on the path to winning the game. It’s not about putting forth an effort to please those on the sidelines, but realizing when you are taking risks and pushing yourself to the point others notice, you will benefit. That trophy that comes in the form of a job offer will be yours to hold above your head.

As that historically long Wimbledon match demonstrated, it can take a while to win the game. You may have to exert yourself to the max. You may have to unleash every bit of strategy in your arsenal. The point is, if you remain determined to win and fight tooth and nail to do so, you and your fans are going to have a lot to jump up and down about.

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